the big 3-0
i would have been just fine with my 30th birthday looking something like this...
it ended up looking like this -
yep! that's me, hangliding over stinson beach!
30 is officially my favorite birthday. dan and i talked about getting away for the weekend up to mendocino. we found a quiet little cabin/b&b that cooked gluten free breakfasts for me, and welcomed dogs. we drove through wine country to get there. this was a perfect birthday trip for someone who just turned "over the hill".
well, little did i know that dan took the phrase literally. instead of planning just the relaxing getaway, he also arranged for me to actually run "over the hill" and then jump off of it (all while tethered to a professional, of course).
ever since i knew humans could fly like birds on currents of air (which was quite early in my life since my father was a pilot and building a sailplane in our garage) i have wanted to do it. as a child i was jealous of birds on gorgeous breezy days, hovering over my head, and then swooping, riding the circles of wind currents. whenever i rode in an airplane (very often) i demanded a window seat so that i could look straight down to the land below and imagine there was no engine carrying me along. but since my father died in an airplane crash my grandmother has disallowed anything resembling flight instructions, sky diving, hangliding, anything that involves an airplane for something other than necessary transportation.
sorry, grandmother, but dan overrode your rule!
through a series of puzzles (i love puzzles!) dan gradually revealed to me his gift. i had a hunch from the start that it was something big and something involving heights, since one puzzle explicitly stated that this adventure would not involve him. when i finally figured out that i would be hangliding i was ecstatic, and scared - and something else i couldn't identify.
as gordon, my professional guide, pulled out the glider and assembled the "seamless aluminum ribs" and hooked me to it with the "titanium carabeener" i was barely listening. "let's just go!" i thought. "obviously you've done this before, gordon, so i'm not worried." we practiced running together, which was fine until i realized that i'd be running off a cliff. but the promise of "amazing swells" and "a killer thermal" by a fellow hanglider distracted me and soon we were running in step straight off of mount tamalpais.
"funny, i thought the air rushing by my face would be louder. i thought it would be harder to hold myself up. i thought it would - oh my god, i'm flying!" a million thoughts raced through my head and then nothing. i was completely at peace. "so what's hangliding like?" asked gordon. "i don't know," i said, " everything i thought it would be, and so wonderfully different." a hawk rode by on the same current. 12 minutes later we were on the beach. it felt like 90 seconds.
now i know that the feeling i couldn't identify before going hangliding was the anticipation of mourning the desire to do it so badly. now that i've done what i always wanted to do, at 30 no less, i have to find a new something i really want to do. for 25 years i put a lot of energy into wanting, needing, to do this one thing. i miss the wonder. now what?
i have the feeling i'll be asking myself that question for a while. for now, my answer is:
"do it again!"
well, little did i know that dan took the phrase literally. instead of planning just the relaxing getaway, he also arranged for me to actually run "over the hill" and then jump off of it (all while tethered to a professional, of course).
ever since i knew humans could fly like birds on currents of air (which was quite early in my life since my father was a pilot and building a sailplane in our garage) i have wanted to do it. as a child i was jealous of birds on gorgeous breezy days, hovering over my head, and then swooping, riding the circles of wind currents. whenever i rode in an airplane (very often) i demanded a window seat so that i could look straight down to the land below and imagine there was no engine carrying me along. but since my father died in an airplane crash my grandmother has disallowed anything resembling flight instructions, sky diving, hangliding, anything that involves an airplane for something other than necessary transportation.
sorry, grandmother, but dan overrode your rule!
through a series of puzzles (i love puzzles!) dan gradually revealed to me his gift. i had a hunch from the start that it was something big and something involving heights, since one puzzle explicitly stated that this adventure would not involve him. when i finally figured out that i would be hangliding i was ecstatic, and scared - and something else i couldn't identify.
as gordon, my professional guide, pulled out the glider and assembled the "seamless aluminum ribs" and hooked me to it with the "titanium carabeener" i was barely listening. "let's just go!" i thought. "obviously you've done this before, gordon, so i'm not worried." we practiced running together, which was fine until i realized that i'd be running off a cliff. but the promise of "amazing swells" and "a killer thermal" by a fellow hanglider distracted me and soon we were running in step straight off of mount tamalpais.
"funny, i thought the air rushing by my face would be louder. i thought it would be harder to hold myself up. i thought it would - oh my god, i'm flying!" a million thoughts raced through my head and then nothing. i was completely at peace. "so what's hangliding like?" asked gordon. "i don't know," i said, " everything i thought it would be, and so wonderfully different." a hawk rode by on the same current. 12 minutes later we were on the beach. it felt like 90 seconds.
now i know that the feeling i couldn't identify before going hangliding was the anticipation of mourning the desire to do it so badly. now that i've done what i always wanted to do, at 30 no less, i have to find a new something i really want to do. for 25 years i put a lot of energy into wanting, needing, to do this one thing. i miss the wonder. now what?
i have the feeling i'll be asking myself that question for a while. for now, my answer is:
"do it again!"
posted by jordan at
10:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home