der Neid - envy

izy and the guys warm up after their long cold walk in the english countryside

the family at the roman baths.
izy's not so sure about the baths. they kind of stink.

this weekend dan and i went to england to visit our friends brian and liz, who are stationed there for the US government. we went on this particular weekend in order for me to attend a surprise baby shower for liz, who is due to have baby "clive" (don't worry - that's not going to be his real name) in about 3 weeks. they have an almost 2 year old daughter who was really fun and talkative - much like her father. :)

liz found out about the shower a few days early because the invitations failed to say that it was a surprise party. she was told it was "a lunch" so we were both thinking there might be about 6 people or so at the shower. but then we went to a house instead of a restaurant, and there were at least 30 people there. almost every woman who works for the "agency" (so cryptic) was there, as well as all of the wives of the men who work for the agency. 30 people, and they were all american and they all knew each other.

i felt happy to be able to count myself among their ranks as "american living abroad". but after the party i realized that i was jealous. this living abroad thing has been challenging and fun and interesting, but also lonely and isolating and hard.

there is an incredible support system for governmental expatriots. when an american associated with the agency comes to england they have a sponsor who helps them to arrange things and get situated. we had a very unhelpful relocation agency and two german colleagues who occasionally translate things for dan.

the agency workers and families all hang out together at each other's houses to watch movies, or play poker, or whatever. i don't have anyone to call to have coffee or lunch with, and we never hang out with dan's co-workers outside of work. so far there has been one dinner and a team meeting i crashed because i was bored.

dan is the only american in the office, which means that there is no support system here for us. (i don't know that there would be even if there were other americans at the office.) it seems that if we want to live and work abroad comfortably one of us had better start working for the government - and let's face it, the US government just doesn't care about theatre.

i value the opportunity that we have here in berlin, don't get me wrong. i'm just jealous of brian and liz and their community. i don't need 30 people to hang out with, but one or two would be nice. i suppose if i get really lonely i could jump on a low-fare airline and make the 1 and 1/2 hour trip back up to england. i loved seeing our old friends and getting to know their new ones, even if it did bring up a little envy.