Es tut mir Leid - i'm sorry

here is a cheat sheet for how to be an ugly american (quotes courtesy of the guy wearing the "orange county golf club" hat):

1. rent a bike, then bring it onto the s-bahn car for pedestrians one car in front of the car for bikes. then say something like "what are they gonna do? i'm a paying customer."

2. talk very loudly about how annoyingly precise the germans are while failing to speak "our language" correctly. "their english is so hard to understand!"

3. let the talk of annoying "foreigners" lead into how america will soon get to deal with foreigners, "you know, the mexicans" the right way - by "throwing them back."

4. "here in germany it's the blacks you gotta deal with" makes a nice transition into how "blacks only know how to sell drugs. if you don't want drugs in your country get rid of the blacks."

5. bang on the door at your stop while saying "how are you supposed to figure out how to open this damn thing?" then accidentally hit the well lit, clearly marked, door open button.

how i wish this weren't a true story...